I'm so ready....

to go back to work. I've been joking about this with a few people, but now I'm serious, that I wish we could have had a staff meeting right before our vacations so that way what we have to do this next week would have been nailed down and I wouldn't have spent the last 10 days sweating it out. I've been thinking about work when I should have been resting!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHH

Oh well, I'll be glad to be back to work. Period. However if certain changes were to take place in these next few months (no i cant tell you stop asking)(ok well actually I can say one of them and it's the daycare opening)(there I told you one so stop asking)(no I really cant tell you the other things)(well really i probably could but there not that secret so you might already know them) then my weeks will be quite different. Even if I get just one more day a week to focus on ministry, like message prep or worship team strategy, it will make a world of difference. And that might be a reality. I'm excited to see what will happen this next year.

I officially just ate my last meal before this 10 day daniel fast. I'm exited and scared. I am not fast to fast. HE HE. This is really a big deal for me; in the area of food sacrifice and the physical/ time sacrifices I will be making for this fast. While most others are going to have a normal 10 days, my life just might be changed coming out of this. I am extremely excited to look back in 11 days and say I did it!!!!!! It will be an accomplishment. Pray for me for strength and for the worship team in this time that we will see the back of God's head. HE HE again. (If you didn't catch that refrence read Exodus, around the commandment stuff. Really all we are doing in this time is asking God to reveal Himself to us. That's it. It better work. The pain, sacrifice, hunger, bleeding (just kidding), seeking, praying better get God's attention. That's all we are doing is saying "God, we hung-ry, we frus-rated cuz we want a steak. We want to watch tv or whatever, but aren't going to. Please hear us."

God we want MORE OF YOU!!!!!!!!!! That's the answer to it all. You.

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Distractions...

like really...

this last week to 10 days have thrown me so outta whack it's not funny. As pastors we have this week off to rest and refresh our spirits but wow, as I remember (because apparently I have forgotten) all that is coming up, I am finding that it is like walking up a steep mountainside barefoot with no food. Seriously, I am so beat down by these last (holi)days that I am really finding it hard to be productive, even in resting. I am distracted, tired, a little discouraged from some things that have happened lately. I feel unprepared in my rest time to accomplish anything.

But that doesn't change the fact that...

The worship team and myself and possibly some other leaders are preparing for a fast (are supposed to be) and all I could think about a week ago was the fast and how I was ready to do ANYTHING to find God. To starve for Him, whatever. I wanted to know Him more. Well the deadline is coming up for starting the fast (this Sunday) and I still hadn't really communicated with my team about the start date or shared my heart with the other leaders about joining us.

Well last night I just had to face that this was a God thing not an emotional thing. God called us to this and I just have to man up. I sat down and emailed my team, shared my vision and time line for the fast, and challenged others to join. It's going to happen. I need this fast. I need God in such a new way, and now I just have to follow through and show some discipline. I've fasted before, but never with a desperation for God, never really wanting to see God NOW in His splendor moving in my life, and now I am really struggling with that hunger for........ hunger. Pray for me, cause' I need this time to get with God. I know I am called to a new standard of life and relationship with God, but I am getting the crap beat outta me.

But... God is bigger.

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